


I Can't Hold Your Hand

by Beccaman



Category: No Fandom
Genre: F/M, Gen, hand holding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-04
Updated: 2017-03-04
Packaged: 2018-09-28 07:55:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10080275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beccaman/pseuds/Beccaman
Summary: Sorry, this is mostly a rant. I do want to know your opinions though, if you do take time to read this.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry, this is mostly a rant. I do want to know your opinions though, if you do take time to read this.

When I was in fifth grade, my best friend and I were yelled at by a teacher, who told us to stop holding hands, we were too old to be doing that. We reluctantly let go of each other's hands, and I thought all the adults I knew who held hands. I knew many. But I didn’t want to upset my new teacher. My best friend and I never held hands again.

The next year, at my graduation, my best male friend came to give me a hug. The principal quickly directed my feet forward and made me get my award and made him return to his seat. It was still graduation, but I no longer felt like celebrating. 

Four years later, I got my first boyfriend. I only gave him hugs and kissed him in private. When we were alone. I felt like my love was forbidden. No one wanted to see it. He didn’t mind being affectionate in public though. We’d hold hands. We held hands at school. That’s as far as our school affection went.

A teacher pulled me aside and told me it made others uncomfortable. Two teenagers, fifteen years old and sixteen years old, holding hands underneath the table at break, made others uncomfortable. Two teenagers, falling into their first romance, spinning around with their hands clasped together, made others uncomfortable. 

I was bewildered at this. I was at a program where we called our teachers by their first names, where we worked at our own pace, where making friends was encouraged. But the second I became physically connected to someone, I was discouraged from that behavior. Physical contact from a loved one is calming to me, something that eased my anxiety. Yet I was told I couldn’t hold my boyfriend's hand, because ‘what if we broke up?’ and ‘It makes others uncomfortable.’

Maybe kissing someone isn’t professional in a workplace. Hugging someone someone in a workplace too. But holding hands with someone? When we’re not working? When we’re taking a break? I would never hold hands with my boyfriend well doing my work. He wouldn’t distract me from my work. I love him, but school is also important, and I’ll see him later after school too. But when we’re not doing work, when we’re on break, I can’t hold his hand to ease my anxiety? I can’t lean on his shoulder a little? 

Right now, we’ve found a way to cheat the system. We tangle our legs together underneath the table. That’s it. I want to change this. I want to be able to hold his hand. At break. That’s all I’m asking. I want to be able to hold my best friend’s hand without being told I’m too old to be holding hands with her. I want to be able to hug my best guy friend without someone awkwardly scooting us away from each other.

Let me ask you. Would it make you uncomfortable, if two young girls, who were best friends, held hands? Would it make you uncomfortable, if a twelve year old boy hugged his twelve year old best female friend congratulations at graduation? Would it make you uncomfortable, if two teenagers, aged fifteen and sixteen, held hands while interacting and playing a game with their friends?


End file.
